Change is an important and unavoidable psychological event in our lives. It is the path to our development. In many ways, it is our opportunity to experience new things in life.
The more we can prepare efficiently for it, accept ourselves, and deal with what we experience in facing it, the higher the chance that the storm will pass, and we will return to stand firmly on the ground, and it is entirely possible that we will feel greater, stronger.
A person close to me once said that the most certain thing in life is that there will be change.
This statement appealed to me, in the paradox contained within it the most certain thing in life is the one that awakens such insecurity in us.
We all agree that change is an inherent and necessary part of our lives.
We witness it and expect it, and at the same time fear it greatly. Why?
I believe the main difficulty stems from the fact that change shakes our experience of control in life. As human beings, we need stability.
We need to know that what happened yesterday is what will happen today and what will happen tomorrow.
The assumption that we can predict what will happen is fundamentally flawed, yet it is the basis for a sense of control, allowing us to manage our lives with relative ease.
For example, if we were aware at every moment of the considerable probability that on our way to work we might be involved in a traffic accident, would we leave the house?
There are different types of changes, and there are different types of people who respond to changes.
A person’s perception of change as positive and beneficial, for example moving from a small apartment to a spacious one, will be different and have a different effect when the change is perceived as negative, such as the death of a loved one and coping with life without them.
Another aspect of change is the ability to prepare for it expected changes such as marriage, the birth of a child, or military enlistment are known in advance, and it is possible to prepare for them.
In contrast, dismissal, traffic accidents, and even winning the lottery, which are sudden events, have a very high impact on us.
Similarly, an unexpected positive change, such as winning money or an unplanned pregnancy, is not easy to digest.
There is also a distinction between changes imposed on us externally (outside our will) versus changes we experience as arising from our own choice.
Physical changes of growth or maturation occur without our consent.
On the other hand, choices and decisions we considered, such as deciding to marry or taking a long trip abroad after military service, are different.
Change is significant not only in our real lives but also in our mental lives.
Therefore, when we face change, we may respond with different symptoms.
Of course, each person will show different expressions and varying intensity, but here is a summary of the main ones:
Physiological expressions sleep difficulties (difficulty falling asleep, waking up, night awakenings, insomnia), changes in appetite and eating (both directions, depending on the person), headaches, stomach pain, digestive changes, skin reactions, back pain, in short, almost everything.
Behavioral expressions: crying, irritability, withdrawal, aggression (toward self or others), suspicion, restlessness.
Cognitive expressions: obsessive thoughts expressing worry or anxiety “What will happen?” “How will I manage?” “What is happening to me?” or pessimistic thoughts “I will never be who I was,” “My life has changed forever,” “I will not succeed.”
Emotional expressions: because the emotional range is so wide, different and subtle feelings can appear tension, fear, anxiety, embarrassment, helplessness, sadness, frustration.
All these lead to a decline in daily functioning, which is seen in work, studies, family, and social life.
As mentioned, everyone reacts differently to change according to personality, mental and environmental resources, and life experience.
However, it can be generalized that expected change is more manageable compared to sudden and unexpected change.
Similarly, adaptation to change perceived as desired is easier than adaptation to change imposed on us.
It is important to emphasize the turbulent picture occurring within us around change is a response known as the adaptation phenomenon or adjustment difficulties.
It is normal and should pass within up to three months after the occurrence of the change.
Moreover, when we can “hold” awareness that the process of change and adaptation is temporary and passing, this alone will help us deal wisely with the occurring change.
How to prepare and cope with change?
First of all, try to relax. Tell yourself that everything happening now is part of the natural and normal coping process.
Do not panic. Tell yourself, “This will pass, it is temporary, and it is reasonable that I feel this way.
I am going through change.”
Identify the opportunity in the change.
Change is growth, it is development. It is the chance that we will be better, or that we will be better/stronger.
Even a terrible illness can lead to important psychological change and improved quality of life after the crisis.
Prepare for any expected change in your life.
Preparation means, for example, gathering knowledge about the change (what will happen? when? where will I be? what are my tasks?), sharing with your environment both about the change itself and possibly about how you respond to it.
It is also important to prepare expectations of yourself and of your environment.
Listen to yourself. During the period around the change, it is important to be tolerant toward yourself and your psychological reactions, if possible with minimal criticism and guilt.
However, when the difficulty around the change does not pass or its intensity increases to the point that you feel unable to cope or help yourself, the adaptation response may become a real crisis.
This can be recognized through functioning issues, such as stopping going to work, isolating at home, not meeting close people, drastic weight loss, etc.
In such a case, take responsibility for yourself and seek professional psychological help.
In conclusion, change is an important and unavoidable psychological event in our lives.
It is the path to our development.
In many ways, it is our opportunity to experience new things in life.
The more we can prepare efficiently for it, accept ourselves, and deal with what we experience in facing it, the higher the chance that the storm will pass, and we will return to stand firmly on the ground, and it is entirely possible that we will feel greater, stronger.
